R.I.P. Uly's Audi Wagon

Kinja'd!!! "EL_ULY" (uly)
11/09/2015 at 16:25 • Filed to: None

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The cause.... the thing I least suspected and never had an issue with :’(

Saturday 8:59PM

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Police/Tow truck arrive

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Car gets towed to my dealer (work)

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!!! UNSUPPORTED LINE BREAK IN HEADER !!!

Time is my main enemy here besides funds. I honestly just don’t have the time to put in 5 or more hours into fixing the wagon. I could maybe take her home and nibble at her little by little until she runs again but I can’t use my mom’s vehicle forever.

I get paid on Friday but the couple hundred bucks left over after paying all my bills are set for groceries and stuff my wife needs. Getting help from the bank or maybe one of those “buy here/pay here” lots could actually hurt me since my wife and I are barely getting by on what we make. Yay life :] A car note would be a hell of a stretch. My wife is trooper though and she agreed on as many cut backs as I have to make financing a car possible. Having her in my life truly makes me feel like the wealthiest person on Earth.

I will try to OPPO as much as I can and will report on all updates in this new automotive saga that is keeping me up at night. Fingers crossed for that <10% chance it’s something small. Either way, a sub $800 car is what I need in the mean time unless some sort of financing could be had.

For those who clown on eco cars “beige cars”, try to be more respectful. Some people wish they could be that fortunate to own any car. I know I’ve felt like that even when I had a good car. Having something new or CPO is still a dream of mine no matter what car it is.

All in all, i’ve been in situations like this before. Some waaay worse. I like to think i’m the inventor of the poorest possible meal ever, “Bologna and Ketchup Tacos” Oh yes.... a miserable weekend with that as my only food was hell. But it’s times like this when one learns the most. If anything, I can’t wait to show you all what my next vehicle is :] Max dopeness and radness will come soon! Even if it’s a jalopy, it will be my chingon carcacha!

Only request, no !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! for me. Mean Bass guitars on the other hand.....

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DISCUSSION (86)


Kinja'd!!! FSI - alcohol enthusiast with a car problem > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 16:33

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Is there really no chance of a second life for your Avant?:(


Kinja'd!!! Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 16:33

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Good luck man, many of us have been there. Hope you can get something tough and reliable to see you through.


Kinja'd!!! Future next gen S2000 owner > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 16:34

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What is the issue or does my reading comprehension suck?


Kinja'd!!! Tripper > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 16:34

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Ugh, rough dude, sorry to hear. I hope you get some of the good karma that you spread around here back when you’re looking for a new car.


Kinja'd!!! 71MGBGT Likes Subarus of Unusual Colors > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 16:34

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Sorry to hear that, best of luck to you. Hopefully things start going your way soon


Kinja'd!!! BeaterGT > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 16:35

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SATURN. DO IT!


Kinja'd!!! Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 16:36

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I’ll have you know, I enjoy a ketchup and bologna (yes I sang the song) sammich on occasion. In fact, I had ham (fancy) and ketchup for lunch today!

I’m sure a lot of us have been in situations similar to yours, I know I have. Buckle down, do what needs to be done, and you and the wife will get through this.


Kinja'd!!! zeontestpilot > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 16:36

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Chin up, i’ve been there too. Yesterday I discovered all four tires on the prix were practically dead, so I’m in the shop right now, getting new ones.

Also can’t believe big bird is being a jerk again and not flying you there. What is his problem anyways?


Kinja'd!!! DancesWithRotors - Driving Insightfully > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 16:40

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Panther time?


Kinja'd!!! Ash78, voting early and often > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 16:42

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I can’t read the MFA warning, what does it say?


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Tripper
11/09/2015 at 16:43

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Thanx Trip. Thy chin shall forever be in the factory up right position :]


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
11/09/2015 at 16:44

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Cold bologna and a packet of ketchup rolled into a taco. I don’t think anyone should be president of any country unless they have chowed down on this :]

Thing will get done buddy, come hell or high Texas floods dagnabbit!


Kinja'd!!! Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 16:44

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Hangin there, bro. Before Sophia, my beloved 500 Pop, I’d never owned a new car. You’ll get there. Don’t go broke on a car just trying to impress people. In the meantime, maybe consider the second hand luxury market. You can get caddies for a steal, and if you know you won’t be driving that long, the problems you encounter may not be so bad. Just don’t think of it as your long term ride.


Kinja'd!!! MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 16:45

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I know it’s not anywhere near as cool as the audi wagon, BUT, my family is still selling a 94 Grand Marq for $2500 (I could probably get them to 2k so you can cover transport cost) it’s only got 64k miles and it’s solid as hell.

Cheap and reliable my man.


Kinja'd!!! Nibby > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 16:45

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Lame. Hopefully you can get a car that resembles Cookie Monster.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > 71MGBGT Likes Subarus of Unusual Colors
11/09/2015 at 16:47

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Thanks buddy. Gotta get back up on the horse and kick more ass is all :]


Kinja'd!!! Klaus Schmoll > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 16:47

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Sorry to hear that! I would offer you a cookie, but now is not the time for those kind of jokes.

From what I’ve read so far you seem like nothing was ever handed to you, but you worked for it. Kudos to you! I honestly hope/think that this will just be a minor setback! And there is no shame in rocking a paid-in-full beater CamCordRollaVic while people who will be upside down on their car loans for years to come look down on you as if they were so much more clever.

All things said, what is actually wrong with the Audi?


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > zeontestpilot
11/09/2015 at 16:48

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Chin will be up my friend, I promise :] Was there one last hoon session before getting them changed?


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > FSI - alcohol enthusiast with a car problem
11/09/2015 at 16:49

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There always is. A car can live forever and I don’t want it to go down without a fight.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
11/09/2015 at 16:51

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My god parents had one, digital tachometer and all!! I think first step is to more the wagon from intensive care into surgery. only then will I find my next move. I will keep that in mind though. 64K on a Grand Marq is beyond awesome sauce!


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
11/09/2015 at 16:52

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Continuing to kick ass is the only option we’ve all had to do right? Come at me life! Ya muh fucka!

lol :]


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Nibby
11/09/2015 at 16:53

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i’ll keep an eye out for a blue Chevy HHR :]


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Ash78, voting early and often
11/09/2015 at 16:54

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MFA warning?


Kinja'd!!! thebigbossyboss > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 16:54

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Sucks man. We all go through hard times for sure, I remember last time I was unemployed I crashed my car on the way home from an oil change, then I had to take the bus for a few years.

I know that feel bro. Know that feel. Hope some good fortune comes your way. If you are looking at the low low end of the car spectrum, seriously I suggest Cavalier with L61.

Maintaining these cars is cheap as all hell. I spend about $500 per year on maintenence and they are simple to work on so a guy like you with all your mechanical knowledge could overhaul if needed. Even I changed my own suspension and I’m just some clown learning from youtube lol.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > BeaterGT
11/09/2015 at 16:55

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gib me S series naow!!!


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > DancesWithRotors - Driving Insightfully
11/09/2015 at 16:55

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finding a non SLAB panther round these parts will be tricky lol :]


Kinja'd!!! MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 16:56

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Garage kept it’s whole life, never in the snow and expertly maintained. Awesomely classy white with the blue roof and blue interior.

It’s really a lot of car for the money.

You know how to find me if you’re interested.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Future next gen S2000 owner
11/09/2015 at 16:58

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Transmission most likely went boom. A solution is trying to be figured out.


Kinja'd!!! DrJohannVegas > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 16:59

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Hey man, do you have a VAG-compatible diagnostic cable? Like a Ross-Tech one? It’ll give you all the information you can get to figure out exactly whats off. I know it sounded catastrophic, but who knows?

Also, you might find some spares more local (or a good offer) to you on Vortex/Audiworld/etc.


Kinja'd!!! Ash78, voting early and often > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 16:59

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Multifunktions Anzeige for VAG cars = Multi-function display

ie, what are the orange words? What happened to the car?


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Klaus Schmoll
11/09/2015 at 17:01

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Thanks buddy. She will not go down without a fight. The transmission failed on the car. Internally, it’s messed up bad. Though, one the death certificate is signed, I will try to get her back on the road. If not, a cheap little beater is totally welcomed unless some type of reasonable financing can be done.


Kinja'd!!! tromoly > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 17:02

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Sorry to hear that, have some Victor Wooten for your afternoon.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
11/09/2015 at 17:02

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Yes sir!!!! I’d baby that baby trust me :]


Kinja'd!!! wiffleballtony > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 17:03

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So, you’re saying the oppo craigslist challenge is set at $800?


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > thebigbossyboss
11/09/2015 at 17:05

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Thanks buddy. i welcome these challenges man. They are lame but they do offer a lot of knowledge to be gained. And yes, those Cavalier are solid. My brother had one for a good long while. It was indeed a trooper. 2001 Z24 in yellow


Kinja'd!!! zeontestpilot > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 17:05

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Unfortunately no, as I only discovered the low treads while trying to find the slow leak.

I am getting a ear full from my mother though, about driving habits and what not. Since’s she's footing the bill (our car repair fund is dry thanks to the pt), I'll just have to grin and bear it.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > DrJohannVegas
11/09/2015 at 17:08

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I have a friend that is a client of my store that is going to hook it up with their scan tool (euro shop with OEM VAG diag subscription) Audiworld will be my best help for trying to find a good used trans if need be.


Kinja'd!!! smobgirl > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 17:11

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No harm in rocking the beige. I put 100,000 miles on the slowest Sentra known to man at one point (I think Doug’s Hummer could’ve raced me and won). I just think of it as a disguise :)

Hope the damage is less than expected and you can get her back running again...and if not, I hope the universe gifts you with the best $800 car you can find.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Ash78, voting early and often
11/09/2015 at 17:15

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Only malfunction warning on the instrument cluster was the PRNDL321 bar lit up solid after a huge thunk while driving. A very bad noise is heard when put into drive. Reverse inop. When in Neutral, the car will not roll either direction. Once I pulled over that day, there was a heavy smell of burned clutches and hot metal.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > wiffleballtony
11/09/2015 at 17:16

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Lol in the Houston area :]


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > zeontestpilot
11/09/2015 at 17:18

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I could hear my mom right now in that situation lol :] Have they invented a machine we could put our diecasts in to make them functioning 1:1’s?


Kinja'd!!! zeontestpilot > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 17:20

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No, but surely it is right around the corner. Hoverboard technology is obviously being hidden from the general public. They have to be hiding the diecast to 1:1 growth Ray somewherezzzz


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > smobgirl
11/09/2015 at 17:20

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Thanks buddy :] Though, nothing was slower than my 1990 525i with 416,000 on the ticker. I clocked that clumsy beast from 0-60 at 14.8 second and just spewing smoke from the tail pipe lol :] Viva the beaters!


Kinja'd!!! wiffleballtony > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 17:21

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300 to spare to spend on Donks

https://houston.craigslist.org/cto/5308005379…


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > zeontestpilot
11/09/2015 at 17:23

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Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > wiffleballtony
11/09/2015 at 17:25

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SLAB :]


Kinja'd!!! DrJohannVegas > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 17:32

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Right on. I was ready to toss mine in the mail to you, if need be, but it seems you’ve got it all in hand. Good luck with everything, man. You got this.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > DrJohannVegas
11/09/2015 at 17:34

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I’ll keep you updated buddy I promise. Ultimate finger crossing session starts now! lol :]


Kinja'd!!! zeontestpilot > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 17:39

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See! I knew they were hiding it!


Kinja'd!!! Luc - The Acadian Oppo > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 17:41

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oh really? I had one of these as my first car. 0-60 in 30 seconds!!! won motorweeks record for slowest car to 60.


Kinja'd!!! 71MGBGT Likes Subarus of Unusual Colors > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 17:52

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Hells yeah, gotta make sad Miata happy again

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Kinja'd!!! JR1 > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 17:59

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Shit man. Hopefully you can find something cheap or can get a deal. Maybe instead of banks seeing if a relative can float you a small loan you can pay back. Luckily there are a lot of reliable cars you can buy in that 1/2k range. A Chevy S10 is a great choice. Mine is solid as a rock and can be had for 2k with a little haggling.


Kinja'd!!! Leon711 > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 18:00

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stiff upper lip old chap! I’m sure that in time everything will be smashing!

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Kinja'd!!! RazoE > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 18:03

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Damn, bro. Life sucks. Good to know you’re in high spirits and your wife is supportive. She can’t do make up for hire? Para las chiquas que van pal party.


Kinja'd!!! RazoE > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 18:04

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I used to have tacos de sal y crema. They were delicious!


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > RazoE
11/09/2015 at 22:55

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Lol she does pretty well on her Youtube channel. She is also starting a sweets table business with my mom.

Right now more than ever, it’s time to make cut back y hecharle mas ganas a este pedo


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Leon711
11/09/2015 at 22:56

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Lol awesome gif. Thanx again buddy. Just gotta give it more beans :]


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > JR1
11/09/2015 at 22:57

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Haggling is key for sure. I am going through all my options as i find out more about the wagon. Thanks for the tips Jarod, you are good peeps buddy :]


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > 71MGBGT Likes Subarus of Unusual Colors
11/09/2015 at 22:58

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Lol it’s a priority I promise


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
11/09/2015 at 22:58

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That is AWESOME! Gib gib gib gib!


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > RazoE
11/09/2015 at 22:59

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Mmmmmmmmmmmmm!


Kinja'd!!! coqui70 > EL_ULY
11/09/2015 at 23:28

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Chin up ... for the first 8 years of my adult life I drove $500 specials. Got them running and drove them until they stopped a couple of years later. In the meantime here are dome H-town CL options:

http://houston.craigslist.org/cto/5308011647…

http://houston.craigslist.org/cto/5285878776…


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > coqui70
11/09/2015 at 23:36

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Thanks buddy. And same here. I didn’t own a car with OBD2 until recently lol :]

Oh man that Satirn is ultra rad!


Kinja'd!!! pip bip - choose Corrour > EL_ULY
11/10/2015 at 03:57

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Chevy Cavalier till you can get some better like a Lexus perhaps?


Kinja'd!!! pip bip - choose Corrour > EL_ULY
11/10/2015 at 05:44

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how about this “Bugatti”

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;)


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > pip bip - choose Corrour
11/10/2015 at 08:58

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Yes!!!


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > pip bip - choose Corrour
11/10/2015 at 08:59

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Me gusta -05 Rexus :]


Kinja'd!!! MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > EL_ULY
11/10/2015 at 09:37

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Well, you let me know if you’re interested.


Kinja'd!!! SantaRita > EL_ULY
11/10/2015 at 09:56

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Mileage? Why not swap the trans? Even paying someone and putting it on a credit card is better than a whole car payment for years or driving some junk. It might even be repairable if you take it to a trans shop. Cheapest, fastest and you’re better off since you have that other sunken value in your car is to shop this one out.

Any cheap car will already have many shits to fix ...been there...

My perspective : I DD a 2002 Audi A6 avant, 3.0, Black and no room for more payments in my life. I squeeze my maintenance in when my 2 year old is napping or at night, often with a headlight.

It has been mine since 85k, now im at 131K... I did my timing(and water pump, etc) ages ago, blauparts suspension a year ago... last few weeks...pcv check valves, radiator, thermostat, temp sensor, coolant flush, fan module, trans flush(thanks radiator!), plugs, valve cover gaskets, all 3 engine mounts, one front axle, front brakes rotors and pads and a couple of ignition coils for good measure.

I’d pay someone to swap in a trans. Preferably re-manufactured. Even if it was 2-3K there is nothing for 2-3K out there that comes close to the avant’s overall package especially if you’d done the rest of the big stuff...this is really the only thing left to do for 100k or so.


Kinja'd!!! SantaRita > EL_ULY
11/10/2015 at 10:02

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!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!


$1600 for a trans installed is better than $800 for more problems.


Kinja'd!!! Agrajag > EL_ULY
11/10/2015 at 10:22

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That sucks, but you’ll rock the hell out of whatever replaces it.

/shredsinremembrance


Kinja'd!!! JR1 > EL_ULY
11/10/2015 at 10:57

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Good luck man!


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > SantaRita
11/10/2015 at 11:27

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On Friday, i;m getting it towed to a european shop that my store deals with. They’re going to look at it to determine exactly what’s wrong and give me the best possible deal. My budget honestly is a grand (all I was approved for with my bank on a card). To me after putting it on a lift last night is showing like if the torque converter when out or is seized. again, i’m just assuming and pending the diag. There is still a chance of life and with those thing aside, the car will be solid as a rock. Finger’s crossed for sure.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Agrajag
11/10/2015 at 11:34

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HECK YEAH! :]


Kinja'd!!! SantaRita > EL_ULY
11/10/2015 at 11:57

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that’s a great scenario. sometimes the shops themselves will let you pay it off.

nothing you find for 1000$ will come close.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > SantaRita
11/10/2015 at 12:01

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I’m thinking the same


Kinja'd!!! TheNeonDriver - Now with More BMW! > EL_ULY
11/12/2015 at 15:50

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I only read this today. I know the feels.
I wreaked my only car, a Neon SRT-4, and I had to survive driving a $400 Olds LSS (Gold, naturally) for a year and a half while I scratched together the funds (credit) to put the SRT back together.


Doing so nearly ruined me. I have learned from that experience.
Try to get a line of Credit. It prevents these things from killing you.
Just be sure to use it sparingly.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > TheNeonDriver - Now with More BMW!
11/12/2015 at 16:04

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I will sir thanks for the advice. Hopefully it is good enough to make something happen. How is the SRT-4 now?


Kinja'd!!! TheNeonDriver - Now with More BMW! > EL_ULY
11/13/2015 at 10:57

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When I sold it last summer, it was mostly stock, with a new clutch, suspension worth more than the car, and all new bushings. But I moved across the country and had to sell it. I owned it for 6 years, and really enjoyed myself the entire time.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > TheNeonDriver - Now with More BMW!
11/13/2015 at 11:27

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I bet sir, awesome :]


Kinja'd!!! TheNeonDriver - Now with More BMW! > EL_ULY
11/13/2015 at 12:51

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Have you had a chance to look at what the issue is with the Wagon yet?


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > TheNeonDriver - Now with More BMW!
11/13/2015 at 13:03

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It will maybe be towards the end of the month. But........ hopefully there could be a turn of events on Monday *fingers crossed*


Kinja'd!!! Tapas > EL_ULY
12/08/2015 at 00:41

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Hey Uly, I was in India and off Oppo so I totally missed this!

I know you have settled things out...but damn. I liked your wagon and I hate to hear that you were in a tight spot.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Tapas
12/08/2015 at 08:59

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Yeah dude it was a tight situation. But as they say, when life hands you lemons, you might as well make lemonade (no pun intended)


Kinja'd!!! Tapas > EL_ULY
12/08/2015 at 18:25

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Im not happy about how it came about, but I’m glad you got the cars that you ended up getting. Im glad i got the Lexus too. And I’ve heard so many variations of that saying, im not sure which one is the original. Some of my favorites include “If life gives you lemons, might as well use it as a prop in your a amatuer porn show and make money”


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Tapas
12/08/2015 at 18:32

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LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh man that’s a good one!!!!!